Caution! Vent ahead: Necessary so I don't catch a case...

We've all had that moment when you're out in public and hear a screaming, tantruming child. The most common reaction is "ugh! Shut that kid up!" I've heard it mumbled in countless stores and parking lots. Sometimes I've caught a glimpse of a struggling child with their over-it parent, and sometimes it's just an echoing scream that tears at my heartstrings. When I hear it, I want to RUN to find that child and just sit down and soothe them. I can feel in my bones that their little being just can't do it anymore. Too much running around with Mommy. Too tired. Hungry. Thirsty. Overstimulated. Just plain done. I get it. I feel that way, too, sometimes. And you know what else we don't take into account? Maybe that poor little person (I say person because yes, children ARE people, too!) has been going through something we don't  know about and this it is all just too much for them.

My husband was admitted to the hospital on Friday. We have a 4.5 year old and a one year old. Thankfully my mother lives around the corner from me and was able to come right over so I could meet him at the ER. He ended up getting admitted and my mother took our 4.5 year old for the first two days/nights. Even though Nana and Papa's house is like a vacation, C's whole entire world and routine was turned upside down. Even though he is 100% comfortable with my parents, they are not his safety and security. Without going into all the long, drawn out details of how fucked up our hospitals and staff are, let's just say it's been a long 5 days and we still don't know when my husband will be able to come home. These two littles, who miss their daddy and are physiologically incapable of patiently waiting around (no fault of their own!) in a boring hospital room where they can't touch all of the alluring buttons, have been troupers! 

Yesterday was more traumatic for our 4yo because he watched his daddy get wheeled out of the room for a procedure. We made light of it, of course, but in his child mind, here's his daddy who has been gone for 5 days, being taken away by nurses in a big hospital and he knows daddy won't be home that night. He's 4. He doesn't know what a hospital is, outside of it's a place where sick or hurt people go. He is tired and missing his daddy. His routine is messed up. Daddy's not there to do tubbie time, or read a bedtime story, or play. So last night was full of nightmares and a fitful sleep for this little guy. C has his own challenges that he faces, too, so his plate is just too full for a 4 year old. While we were waiting for the valet just now, his lollipop stick fell and broke in half. His face scrunched up angrily, he growled, and said "I am so frustrated!" I calmly echoed his feelings and began to try to settle what could have immediately turned into a situation, but hadn't. Before I could finish my interaction with my child, who did not even raise his voice, even though his little body certainly could have turned into the Tasmanian Devil, this older woman whose car just arrived turned and said "that's a big word for such a little boy. I have another one for you, patience. Learn it!" And then waltzed into her car. Had my 4 year old and 1 year old not had been right there with me, I would be sitting in a jail cell. I was furious. You have NO IDEA what our situation is. You have NO IDEA what challenges my child faces. You have NO IDEA how INCREDIBLY PROUD I am of him to voice his frustration like he did, instead of launching into a full-fledged meltdown. This child, CHILD, got very little sleep - interrupted sleep, at that! His daddy has been gone for 5 days. His routine is all screwed up as he goes daily to visit him in a big, scary, hospital. He doesn't understand what is going on with his daddy. He has his own appointments that he still must attend on top of the upheaval in his schedule. Do NOT just assume that I have a "bad" kid. Show me a four year old who would NOT be frustrated while waiting for the valet to come bring your car in 100 degree heat - after he's already come back to confirm what you drive because he grabbed the wrong keys. Not to mention, said child didn't sleep well from nightmares about his daddy, it's lunch time, nap time, his own anxiety, a special surprise he was given just fell and broke, he's leaving his daddy behind, he's hot, too many noises, his baby brother is starting to meltdown...... Fuck what all of the reasons were or even could have been - this bitch should never had said anything. My child, who said "hello" to her as she approached. My child who has a heart of gold. My child who has a HUGE smile for anyone, a smile that she fucking commented "how lovely" it was. I'm sorry, y'all, but think of our own adult frustrations. It's hard sometimes. Imagine what kids go through. Before you jump to conclusions, just stop and think. And again - ALL HE FUCKING DID WAS SAY HE WAS FRUSTRATED! HE EASILY COULD HAVE THROWN THE FUCKING CANDY AND STARTED SCREAMING LIKE A BANSHEE! Fuck, man. I know I'm tired, and worn out, and stressed, but I came [ - ] close to busting an old biddy's ass today.